


Poise and Posturing Amongst Rivals

by Biblioholic93



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, F/M, FANFICCEPTION, Gratuitous Smut, Herding Cats, Ladybulges, Maroonion, Multi, NSFW, Tentabulges, Xenophilia, cause that pisses me off when you fake me out like that, critique please, didnt tag the background relationships, dont hate, fanfic of a fanfic, first smut work, go read it it's on this site, ok I'm done tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-05-30
Packaged: 2017-12-03 10:02:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biblioholic93/pseuds/Biblioholic93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feferi and Kanaya are on the classiest of hate dates possible. But between you and me, that Feferi kind of likes to mess with societal norms.</p><p>Equius, Feferi's matesprit, loves that about her. </p><p>Based off of the lovely fanfiction <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/349720/chapters/568917">"Herding cats"</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Settling in

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Herding Cats](https://archiveofourown.org/works/349720) by [childishGambino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/childishGambino/pseuds/childishGambino). 



This is based off of a throwaway line of the homestuck fanfiction "Herding Cats."

Pertinent ships I won't tag for the sake of being nice and not faking people out are Vriska<3<Sollux, and Vriska<3Kanaya

Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie (mspaintadventures.com)  
Herding Cats belongs to Childish Gamino (http://childishgamblignant.tumblr.com/)

I own and claim to own none of the contents or ideas within this piece of fanfiction, and will never distribute this for monetary gain.  
***

Kanaya took in a slow breath, and knocked on the door of Feferi's hive.

"Equius," Feferi shouted from within, "Get the door! I bereef our guest is here!"

"Hrk... yes milady." Hastened footsteps heard within, and then the tall and sweaty gentletroll opened the door and, after a cursory glance up and down, gave an approving nod. "You look sufficiently terrible tonight for such an occasion."

Kanaya gaped at the... the _thing_ that Equius was wearing. "What... what are you wearing?"

Equius looked down at the bright pink and green suit, frills on the shoulders as well as neck waist and wrists, nautical patterns such as ships and fish and crustaceans embroidered in small expensive gemstones all over the coat and pants, even going so far as to make Equius's sign very small on his right breast (and even the wrong shade of blue). In all, Equius was a positively garish example of everything wrong with seadweller fashion. "Oh, my lovely matesprit made this for me. It is 100% betta-... er, better than the suit you made me. That suit was lovely, don't get me wrong, but I have to say this one is much more to my style."

Kanaya couldn't even look at him anymore for fear of exploding already. "What did you do to that suit by the way?" She asked as Equius gestured for her to come in, and directed her through the many hallways.

"Err... I was instructed to leave it as a surprise." There was the tiniest of smirks lingering around the corners of his mouth, and Kanaya narrowed her eyes at it. The rest of the journey to the grand dining hall was done silence.

They did eventually get to the enormous doors that Equius had to open for Kanaya, and when they did Kanaya had to clench her teeth to keep from screaming.

A little table big enough for two sat in the middle of the enormous hall, with two chairs next to it. A salt and pepper shaker, a single lit black candle, and two sets of neatly positioned eating utensils sat atop the torn and tattered remains of Equius's previous suit. Feferi, clad in a garment that was so unspeakable to Kanaya that she physically could not bring herself to closely inspect it's cascading lavender and blue frills with any sort of detail. The heiress was also wearing the hugest of fake grins, a malicious glint in her eye. "Kanaya," she said tersely.

"Feferi," Kanaya replied in kind, forcing a smile back. She walked over to the table, gave Feferi's dress a judgmental look (still smiling), and the impromptu tablecloth a raised eyebrow. "I see your terrible fashion sense has extended itself to tablecloths as well," she said in a falsely sweet tone.

"Oh, tablecloths are supposed to be terribubble, so I-"

"Terrible," Kanaya corrected offhandedly.

"Terribubble. So I mermaid this one from the ferry worst thing I cod find. Do you not like it?"

Kanaya turned her cool gaze to her Kismessis. "I think it's been mutilated unjustly and I feel sorry for it... as well as sorry for it's owner for having brought upon himself such a controlling and borderline abusive matesprit."

Feferi snarled, and Kanaya felt her lips turn just a little bit upward in triumph. "Please," Feferi hissed through clenched teeth, "sit and let the butler take your order."

Equius pulled the empty chair out and gestured for her to sit. The chair was made of some sort of coral and lacked any cushion whatsoever. It was going to be uncomfortable, and by Equius's laughing eyes it had been his doing.

Kanaya gracefully positioned her skirts and sat down without a peep of complaint, letting Equius scoot her in a bit too close to the table to breath right. He walked to the side of the table, and inclined his head respectfully towards Feferi. "What vintage of wine would you be feeling is appropriate this evening?"

"Oh," Feferi mused, "mako it a 900 year old white."

Kanaya cringed inwardly. That had been the year that marked the end of the summoner's revolution. The wine had suffered the terrible influence of all the expert winemaker's being deported in a single night to some other planet far away. It was the most expensively bad kismestic wine all the opulence of the world could buy. And the white wine? Kanaya preferred red and Feferi knew it. The horseshitometer was falling back out of her favor, and the snarky broads leered at her for it.

Equius bowed gracefully to Feferi, and turned to just look uneasily at Kanaya for a bit.

"... what?" Kanaya finally asked.

"Nothing," Equius said a little too quickly, and walked out, leaving Feferi and Kanaya alone.

The black romance in the air tasted like the very worst kind of sour lemons, and Kanaya found herself a little aroused at the hateful eyes of her kismessis that seemed to burn holes in her clothes with glances and sheer disapproval. But Kanaya would not be the first one to break. Oh no, the greatest achievement would be to make her show that the fuchsia blooded bitch was more the uncultured animal than she.

Equius returned with a bottle of wine, a wineglass... and a barkbeast water bowl labeled 'Jadeb100ded Whore.' He set the glass in front of his matesprit with an uneasy look at the bottle and a questioning eyebrow, wondering if she really was going to subject herself to the horrid taste. Feferi gave a stern nod, and Equius, sweating a little, filled her glass. Offhandedly, she put the bowl in front of Kanaya and filled the thing to nearly spilling.

Kanaya looked down at the bowl, and gave a grudging nod to Equius. That had been a pretty good gambit, and Equius was only following orders like the sad little pet of Feferi's monstrous surpressed imperialistic obedience complex, so she had to give him props for it. The poor man deserved as much.

Feferi raised her glass. "To opulence."

Kanaya carefully picked the bowl up and set it on one hand like a servant holding a platter, which was the most dignified way of drinking out of a barkbeast bowl one would suppose. "To understatement," she said, and drank deeply the bitter and sour concoction that had the audacity to call itself "Wine."

Feferi, for all her bravado, hesitated where Kanaya did not, and Kanaya was quick to fire off "So the spoiled princess doesn't want to drink a little kismestic vintage she herself chose? Oh, woe to the empire that would ever have you as it's tyrant."

Feferi's knuckles whitened around the diamond glass, and she drank so quickly that she actually spilled some on herself.

Kanaya did not hide the triumphant leer this time.

Feferi looked down at herself, coughed a little at the horrible aftertaste they were both tasting, and snapped "Did I tell you that I stuck my tongue down your matesprit's throat yesterday?"

Kanaya froze, her muscles clenching, her face twitching from the outrage she felt rearing up inside of her. She very, very carefully put her bowl back down, forcefully scooted herself away from the table, and took from her sylladex a simple cerulean pillow and placed it on the seat. She sat back down, and slapped Equius's hand when he made to scoot her back in. "What was the occasion?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, I don't know what Sollux called it, but he and Vriska were over here yesterday and we had a little pale-black threesome." She looked up at Equius, who looked just as shocked as Kanaya felt outraged, and forcefully ordered "Go get our food."

Equius shuddered, and bowed quickly. "Yes Miss Peixes." He turned away, and Kanaya gasped as she got a good look at his-

"What, Kanaya?"

Kanaya blushed deeply as she snapped her eyes from Equius's quivering crotch. "He... I... how... he's so..." Her entire face was flushed green now.

"What Kanaya, are you too much of a _prude_ to say he's hung like a hoofbeast?"

Kanaya sputtered and looked at Feferi, scandalized and for some reason even more aroused than before. She couldn't even make herself give any sort of answer to that.

"Or are you jealous because for once in your life you don't have the biggest bonebulge in the room?"

"THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!" Kanaya screamed, covering her face against what felt like a smoldering bed of coals on her hands.

"Oh, have I upset you Maryam?"

Slamming her fists down on the table and causing the pepper shaker to tip over, she blurted "FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM FAR TOO AROUSED TO BE UPSET!" 

Both of them froze.

Then Feferi leaned forward and said, sternly, "What are your in-trench-ions with my matesprit?"

Kanaya leaned forward over the table. "I want to stick things worse than my tongue down his throat," she whispered provocatively.

Feferi leaned forward, snarling. "I bit Vriska's arm and lapped her blood up. It tasted fantastic."

"Well I see that the only reason you could ever find something actually good of your taste is when it's _stolen_ or _you've been told you can't have it_ you unscrupulous spoiled bitch of an insatiable bulgeslurper."

Kanaya and Feferi glared at each other over the small table until Equius came back with two covered dishes. He gulped when he saw the state they were in, and he would have paused at the door longer if it weren't for Feferi's call of "GET THE SHELL IN HERE EQUIUS AND GIVE HER THE FOOD!"

Equius reluctantly walked in and set the two dishes down in front of the two ladies. "H-here you go, milady and... bitch, p-pardon m-my" Feferi briefly turned her glare on him, and he bit back what he had been about to say.

Feferi calmly lifted her lid to find a big honking whale-steak, beautifully prepared, staring intently at Kanaya's face.

Kanaya opened hers, and instead of finding a blackened and smoking mess that she had expected, she found an equally beautifully prepared entire good sized salmon... with a picture on top of it.

The picture was a close up of a bare backside Kanaya was very familiar with, a waving cerulean bulge spurting blue liquid into a pail as a fuchsia one was shoved carelessly into the beautiful blue nook, dripping obscene purple fluids all the way down those beautiful legs.

She had not been lying.

She had taken pictures.

Of herself.

Buried hip-deep in her dear sweet Vriska.

...

**Nobody pleasured Vriska but her!**

With a shriek Kanaya threw the table to the side and tackled the Heiress right there, ripping at her horrid dress and biting at her lips furiously as they both came crashing down onto the ground.

"EQUIUS!"

Huge hands closed around her middle, and Kanaya yelped in surprise as she was lifted up off of her Kismessis and held by her armpits several feet in the air.

Feferi slowly stood up, wiping the blood dripping down her chin and eyeing Kanaya with a gleam in her eye that had Kanaya's panties soaked. "Oh dear oh dear. It would seem we have a situation don't we?"

"Feferi," Equius urged, "your blouse is opened."

Feferi looked down at her exposed chest, the fuchsia nipples hard and the small sleek bosom completely exposed. She tisked, and shook her head as she looked back up at Kanaya without making any move to cover herself. "This was my favorite dress."

"YOU BITCH HE HAS NO RIGHT TO INTERFERE WITH OUR HATRED HAVE HIM RELEASE ME AT ONCE SO I CAN MAKE YOU SCREAM FOR MERCY!" She vainly tried to tear at Equius's hands with her carefully manicured claws, but she couldn't penetrate his skin. Kanaya wrinkled her nose against the unsavory masculine scent of his sweat behind her, and growled "Though it's flattering that you think you can't win without help."

"P-please my dear," Equius sputtered, "c-cover yourself, you're indecent!"

"Equius," Feferi said quietly, walking slowly around to his back and hugging herself close to his back, causing him to quiver and look back at her, "would you be at all unwilling to share a good time with this bitch and me?"

Equius was speechless while Kanaya screamed and began to wiggle furiously. "YOU WILL NOT! NO! NO I FORBID IT STOP!"

"She has the biggest bulge I've ever seen except yours," Feferi whispered in his ear. "And her genetic fluid is sweeter than any key lime pie you have ever tasted."

Kanaya was so fucking aroused that it hurt, and her bulge snaked around under her dress in such away that caused Equius to groan.

"Turn her around," the heiress whispered.

He did so.

"Look at her." Feferi went in and ripped her blouse open, releasing her breasts from the tight confines of the corset Kanaya had been wearing and displaying them openly.

Kanaya snarled and fought, jiggling them from side to side, and Equius made a small noise in his throat that he had to desperately fight to keep from being a groan.

"Do you want to?"

Equius was staring unblinkingly at Kanaya's chest. "I... hrk... erm..."

"Answer."

"I, I think, oh fiddlesticks I-"

Feferi jumped right up onto his shoulders and pulled on his ears. "ANSWER, MY PET!" 

"Yes!" Equius keened, "Yes! So much, yes!"

Kanaya went silent and still, watching.

"Put her down," Feferi crooned, petting his hair as she wrapped her legs tighter around his chest. Equius felt her bulge slowly move against his shoulder, through the cloth of her dress.

Equius released her, and Kanaya brushed herself off and glared at both of them.

"Take off your shirt."

"Y-you're... kind of... that might be difficu-"

"Rip it off," Feferi urged, and nibbled on the tip of his ear.

Equius, groaning, ripped his shirt off without a single further word. Kanaya gave an involuntary gasp as his muscled physique was put on display.

"Good boy," Feferi cooed, and slid down off of him. She wandered around to his side, and slowly took his arm and lifted it up, bending his elbow. She petted his bicep, and ordered, forcefully, "Flex."

Equius shivered as he did as was commanded. Kanaya noted that he was panting a bit, and had a sort of glassed look in his eye that made Kanaya suspect he had dreamed about something like this for a very long time. She did admit that he was quite good looking, and his musculature was very impressive, hot even (though not to Kanaya's usual tastes), and she knew that she wanted to.

"You know," Kanaya sneered, "I don't find it surprising at all that you picked a matesprit who gets off on following orders, seeing as you get off on giving them."

Feferi cackled like the witch she was. "Vriska loves being dominated and we both know it, don't be such a hypocrite." She reached up and nudged her matesprit's other arm, and ordered "Lock your hands over your head and flex your stomach.

Equius complied, eyelids fluttering shut, and... Kanaya's eyes widened as she heard a little whimper from him as the tentacle in his pants thrashed wildly, frustrated and completely aroused.

"You know you want to, Kan," Feferi crooned, a gleeful glint in her eye. "I'll even make him follow your commands too."

"Step on Feferi's toes!" Kanaya snapped.

Equius's eyes snapped open and he looked down at Feferi, a question in his eyes.

Feferi smirked, and nodded. "I order you to obey her orders as well as mine, and I order you to not hold back on my account." Equius tried to step on her toes, and Feferi danced away, tittering. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy for you~"

Kanaya tackled Feferi to the ground and snapped "Equius, stay" as she leaned down and sucked on Feferi's chest, scraping with her teeth just enough to make the fuchsia blood shudder and groan, arching her back to thrust her breasts up at Feferi's mouth.

"Oh, my, was that a yes I'm hearing?" Feferi teased, gasping as a fang scraped across her nipple.

Kanaya's eyes didn't leave Equius the whole time. "Strip," she snapped, her voice cracking like a whip in the large room.

Equius slowly took off each of his shoes and peeled off his socks.

Feferi's hands were busy ripping the jadeblood's dress to shreds.

Kanaya switched to the other nipple, eyes unblinking as they molested Equius's every muscular curve. "Turn around."

He did so.

"Pull your pants down just enough that I can see your bottom."

Feferi laughed. "Hahaha, you can't even call it an ass when we're-" she cut off with a yelp as Kanaya's fang pierced her nipple through, and her tongue lapped languidly at the blood that welled up in her mouth.

Equius did as was commanded, and Kanaya moaned at the taste of blood and the sight of him. "Bend over when you take your pants off all the way."

He bent over slowly, taking his underwear with his pants, and she could see everything. His nook was dripping constantly, and his bulge was writhing, so long that it licked around the backs of his bent knees a little. He shyly glanced around his hip at the two, and shuddered at the sight.

The two ladies were now stripped down to their panties, the tattered remains of their respective garments hanging off of their bodies by strips that barely hung in there and concealed nothing. Feferi's feet were kicking at Kanaya's panties and both of their bulges had escaped the limited confines and were currently twined, squeezing each other tight in that deliciously kismestic way that made Equius shudder.

"Come over here!" Feferi called, and Kanaya hissed as Feferi took both their bulges in her white-knuckled fist. In retaliation, she raked her claws down the heiress's back and dragged her fangs down her side as far as she could bend herself, trying to pull away from the painful grasp. Feferi laughed, her bulge throbbing against Kanaya's, clearly liking the pain almost as much as she liked seeing the jadeblood in pain.

Equius came over, and Feferi let her own bulge slip out of her fist but kept Kanaya's hard in her fist. "Kanaya, you mentioned sticking things down people's throats, maybe you'd like to volunteer to go first?"

"I will bite it off I swear," Kanaya hissed, thrashing as she tried to get away.

"Equius, hold her down," Feferi snarled, and Kanaya's back smacked against the floor as a foot slapped down against her midriff and pinned her to the floor, callused feet brushing against the undersides of Kanaya's breasts in such a teasing way that she shuddered. Feferi lowered her mouth down, capturing the tip of Kanaya's bulge with her other hand. "If you bite him," she hissed, hate twisting her face into an ugly mask of malevolent rage, "I will bite you." She nibbled the end just barely.

Kanaya jerked back and groaned as the two hands squeezed her bulge, and she tried to reach down and grab her kismessis and give her a good mauling, but Equius captured her arms and effortlessly circled her wrists and kept her there, not squeezing her or pressing down uncomfortably but nonetheless completely holding her immobile save for her uselessly kicking legs. "FINE OKAY AAH NOT SO HARD!"

Feferi smiled deviously, and nodded to Equius. "Straddle her face."

Equius slid his hands to her shoulders and put his foot down on the other side of Kanaya, lowering himself down to her as he got down on his knees, both thighs sliding upwards to hold Kanaya's arms upwards, only able to reach him, while his calves slid back and lowered himself right to her face.

"Equius," Kanaya snapped as forcefully as she could, "kick her!"

Equius did not hesitate to kick back at his matesprit's shoulder, causing her to yelp in surprise. "Oh fucking fiddlesticking fuck I'm sorry," Equius groaned. "Reflex, I won't do it aga-"

"YOU WILL FOLLOW HER ORDERS AS ADAMANTLY AS MINE AS LONG AS YOU DON'T LET HER UP!" Feferi roared, and Equius gasped as he dripped fluids all over Kanaya's chest. "Now pinch her nipples!"

"Y-yes... m-mistress," he panted, and reached down to tweak and twist at the jade nubs.

Kanaya only gasped and fought a little, she was too busy staring at the enormous bulge in her face.

"Force the tip into her mouth," Feferi snapped, and Equius snaked his (semi-autonomous) bulge into her mouth and down her throat.

"Make sure she gets to breath every now and then," Feferi cooed, and slowly lowered her head to capture Kanaya's bulge in her own mouth.

Kanaya moaned around the bulge in her mouth and thrashed against her captivity as she humped up at Feferi. She didn't know why her kismessis wasn't gnawing at her bonebulge like a barkbeast on a bone, but it felt so fucking good she couldn't think enough to question it. 

Feferi drew back and growled "Please him."

Kanaya's bulge thrashed, smacking Feferi across the face as she did. Feferi yelped, and quickly grabbed it in her fist and nibbled at the middle of the impressive green bulge, causing Kanaya to make a similarly meant "Mmmph!"

Now holding it so it didn't smack her across the face again, Feferi licked a bit of jade fluid off her lips and ordered "Use your tongue, Kanaya, I have you at my mercy and you'd be very stupid to disobey me right now."

Kanaya groaned, and after taking five seconds to breath she began to bob her head, sucking hard and wrapping her tongue around the enormous bulge. Her hand snuck up, and inserted two fingers into his dripping nook and began to finger fuck him.

Equius gasped and groaned and moaned at her ministrations, falling forward onto his hands and thrusting with his hips involuntarily. Kanaya had to reach up and slap his hips to get him to let her breath. Thereafter, she caressed his ass with that hand and when she needed to breath she'd dig her claws into his flesh and rake him, which just barely broke the skin.

Feferi, meanwhile, was busy doing her very best to make Kanaya come, sucking and licking and thrusting four fingers into the jadeblood's ready nook. Her other hand was busy stroking her own bulge furiously.

Equius was quick to start panting and gasping, trembling, his muscles clenching and pulsing with tension as Kanaya held half of him in her mouth and slowly began to caress the best spots in him with careful fingers.

Equius gasped "B-bucket, ge-" he hissed as Kanaya nipped him deliciously. "get, bucket, I'm going to... hhhaah... sweetmercifulfuck... F-feferi, b-buck-"

"Come on her chest," Feferi commanded forcefully, "and down her throat."

Kanaya screamed something around the bulge in her mouth, and Equius gasped "B-but... th-the f-floors... s-so lood... ohmylordcanthold..."

"ON HER CHEST!" Feferi roared, "AND DOWN HER THROAT! **I COMMAND IT!** "

Equius threw his head back, and as he cried out as a splash of blue genetic fluid spurted down across Kanaya's chest, and Kanaya sputtered and began to swallow sheerly for the need to not drown, blue fluid welling up and pouring over her chin, shuddering at how strange it was that she was being pinned down and used as Equius's personal bucket and being sucked on hard and she was so fucking close.

Equius pulled out of her mouth after a few moments, and Kanaya coughed a little but groaned loudly and bucked her hips, shoving herself deep into Feferi's throat. _Just a little more,_ she thought.

Feferi abruptly pulled herself off of Kanaya and with a whisper of "Teasing is so much funner than being just plain uncomfortable" grabbed the base and middle of her bulge in one hand and squeezed, kinking the jade bonebulge.

Kanaya screamed in pain and thrashed, gasping and slamming her fist down against the floor and shouting "AAAAAUUUGH NOOOOOO PLEEEEEEEEASE STOOOOOOP!" It was the razor's edge between pain and pleasure, and she could feel herself throbbing and writhing furiously against her kismessis's hand, her nook clenching around Feferi's still fingers.

The tide of pleasure slowly faded and left only pain, though, and Kanaya thrashed harder until Feferi finally released her, snapping "Equius, let her up."

Kanaya scurried away quickly, looking down at herself in disgust and rubbing her pained and quickly deflating bulge with a glare. "That was well played Feferi," she grudgingly admitted.

Equius started to get up, but Feferi kept him down with a foot pressed down on his back. "Stay down pet," she snapped, and Equius shuddered and hissed "Yessss mistresss."

"Tell her why you're so aroused right now."

Equius bowed his head, blushing deeply. "D-do I ha-"

Feferi pressed down with her foot and lovingly crooned "Tell her your darkest fantasy. I command you, tell her."

"I... want to... be treated like... an animal... an object... being tested and sold like a prized stallion... and..." He hunched his shoulders and bowed his head out of sight.

"Aaaaaaaand?" Feferi insisted, reaching down to caress his buttocks.

Kanaya just knew that had been eight a's and gritted her teeth loudly.

"I... want to... be..."

"Say it, say the dirty word I command you." She snaked her fingers into his nook, and caressed his insides. 

"I want to be _fucked_ like a mare," he hissed, his bulge waving so hard it slapped around his hip to leave a dose of his own fluid where he'd slapped his ass with his prodigious bulge.

Kanaya was drooling a little as she stared at Equius, her bonebulge inflating and writhing appreciatively.

"You're scared you'll like it," Feferi taunted Kanaya in a sultry voice. "You're scared you'll like it better than your dear Vriska aren't you?"

Kanaya clenched her fists at her sides. She was not at all unwilling, and how dare she question it! She could throttle that bitch right now! "I am in no way scared of anything of the sort," she growled. "And don't you even dare to question my feelings for Vriska."

"Then why are you hesitating? Because I know for a fact that Vriska is over at Eridan's hive, and if she has any compunctions she can just do nothing. In fact, VRISKA IF YOU'RE WATCHING AND APPROVE MOVE THAT TABLE!"

The game cursor flew wildly into the room and the table moved around in eight furiously fast ovals before dropping back down. A pause, and then eight more ovals, then the game cursor poked Kanaya in the back of the head and then poked Equius in the ass, and bounced up and down eight times.

Kanaya sighed, and couldn't help but snicker a little. "Does Eridan know you're over at his hive?"

After a second, the cursor shook side to side once.

Kanaya bit her lip. "Do you really want me to?"

The cursor bounced up and down another eight times and then rapidly poked Equius in the ass another eight times, causing him to bounce up and point at the ceiling growling "Do not test me Serket!"

"Get back down!" Feferi shouted.

"Hrk!" Equius was back in his previous position faster than he'd left it. "My apologies mistress."

"Good boy." The heiress looked over at Kanaya. "So are we getting narwhal with this or are we gonna fuck?"

Kanaya glared. "I don't even know what 'narwhal' is supposed to mean, are you happy that you're sacrificing clarity for the sake of making yourself laugh? Because nobody else but you and your sycophant matesprit thinks those puns are funny."

"NOWHERE YOU CARPING HARPY, ARE WE GOING NOWHERE WITH THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING SAID! NOW COME OVER HERE AND FUCK MY MATESPRIT OR I'LL HAVE TO HOLD YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU THRUST BY FUCKING YOU INTO FUCKING HIM!!"

Kanaya's dick curled longingly at the thought, and Kanaya grinned and crouched into a fighting position. "Bring it the fuck on, Peixes." She bared her teeth.

The witch of life cackled, and pounced with all the whale-dragging force she could muster, cracking the floor beneath her as she tackled the jadeblood against the far wall and began to grapple.

Kanaya might lack impressive musculature, but she made up for it by being the most slippery, most shithive maggots broad, pulling hair and biting nipples and punching bulge and nook and fighting as dirty as she could.

Who even knew how it was going to end up?

((I'm not sure if anybody wants me to write round two, this is the first story I've written exclusively for smut, soooooooo... I don't know how good it is I know I like it that's all))

((Edit: ok ok I'll write another chapter in a couple days, heh, nice to have the author of the inspiration be the first to kudo me! Tell me what you think of this chapter and I would still like to have some feedback, even if it's just praise [especially if it's just praise :D it's incentive for me to keep going!]. So... yeah comment please))


	2. Down and Dirty

"You want to fuck him," Feferi grunted as she held Kanaya in a full nelson and pinned her down with the weight of her body.

Surprisingly limber, Kanaya thrashed an inch of slack out of her and slipped an arm out as she kicked with a heel to the base of Feferi's bulge. "You want me to," she snarled. "So bite me."

Feferi ignored it and pinned Kanaya's bicep with her shoulder, groaning as she wrapped her calf around the jadeblood's and hooked her foot over her ankle. "Stay... fucking... still... you're like... a literal eel... FUCK MeaaaaUUGH!" Kanaya had somehow gotten both her feet free and kicked down hard on the floor, flipping them both through the air and landing hard on Feferi while Kanaya rolled over backwards over her and slammed an elbow down on her face, biting her head-fin, wrenching a wheeze from her that probably should have been a scream.

Kanaya flipped Feferi on her side and wrapped both her legs around her thighs and grabbed her breasts from behind, biting and biting and biting on her head-fins like it was some kind of vampire eating contest while she thrust her writhing bulge between Feferi's clenched thighs, the tip entering her nook for a few seconds before her overeager thrusting stopped the contact. Feferi tisked, thinking _she's getting distracted._

Grabbing the backs of her hands and rolling forward fast enough to fling them both to their feet, Feferi got them face to face, Kanaya's arms twisted the wrong way and held far to the sides, and Feferi's legs wrapped around hers, the fuchsiablood's knees over Kanaya's and her feet wrapped around her ankles to put all her weight on the sides of Kanaya's feet.

Kanaya groaned as Feferi's bulge, of it's own accord, looped around Kanaya's and slipped into the jadeblood's nook. She leaned her neck in to hatesnog, and Feferi let it happen a little... before bringing her head back and -WHAM!- headbutting her right in the temple.

Kanaya went limp, dazed, and Feferi took the second to grab her by the hair and drag her at a run to Equius (Who had watched the whole thing and dutifully remained where he had been told to) and slapped her down on Equius's back, holding her wrists to make sure her hands stayed in contact with Equius and standing on her feet to keep her from going anywhere. Kanaya forced the daze away and began to struggle, trying to headbutt her back and trying to jab her elbows into Feferi's sides.

"No," the heiress growled, triumphant as she very slowly sheathed her bulge in Kanaya's dripping nook, "I believe I was very specific when I told you what I would do." She forced her hips forward more forcefully when she was flush up against Kanaya's hips, and Kanaya's toes curled as she leaned forward and moaned a quivering moan and slipped into Equius, producing a hiss from the b100b100d.

Feferi laughed softly, relishing the domination of the two other trolls as she drew out of Kanaya slowly, then slammed back home hard enough to transfer the force to Kanaya's bulge slamming home into Equius. "How do you feel Equius?"

Equius was too embarrassed to answer any way but a mutter. He would _not_ whimper!

"You're holding back," Feferi purred, thrusting. Kanaya drew in a shuddering breath at the sensations, and Equius's shoulders tightened. "You're both holding back. Why? Why hold back? He wants it, you want it, why not?"

"You... are... insane," Kanaya panted, out of breath.

"I'm doing ALL the work here, Maryam," Feferi cooed. "I think it's because, for all the fight in you, you want to be handed things without working for them, and something else." She leaned forward, and in a laughing whisper breathed "You want to be subdued. You like how I'm stronger than you, and you _want_ me to _make_ you fuck him."

Kanaya let out an undignified shriek and yanked herself from side to side, trying to get away. But this time Feferi had accommodated for her strange slipperiness, and was holding her down at every point she could bend with her own body. Feferi had plastered herself to Kanaya's back, and had in turn pinned her to Equius, and she just kept on thrusting, at a pace that had Equius panting and-...

Equius let out a little wicker, and gasped "R-ride me, ogodyesssss,"

Kanaya couldn't help it. "You are so weird, Equius! What is WRONG with you!?"

"Equius," Feferi snapped, "time for us to put what we practiced to use." She moved Kanaya's arms around his middle and released her wrists to lock her hands. Before Kanaya even realized that her hands were freed the heiress shouted "BUCK!"

Suddenly the world began to spin and jerk and rotate and jump around Kanaya, and she started to scream and flail, desperately trying to get away as Equius literally bucked and snorted and jumped like a displeased stallion. Feferi didn't even need to hump Kanaya, for Equius's own movements were flinging their hips around enough to move Kanaya in Equius and Feferi in Kanaya. Feferi even groaned longingly at the sensation.

It seemed to go on forever before Feferi shouted "OK that's enough!" and it was suddenly over.

Kanaya wondered suddenly why he hadn't bucked so hard that her neck broke from whiplash. Apparently Feferi and him had been working on control?

"Don't ever insult Equius's tastes," Feferi growled in her kismessis's ear. 

Kanaya was still dazed from the ride and panting because she was actually starting to get closer, and her bulge still ached from being denied before. When Feferi gave a thrust softly into her, Kanaya keened longingly, her hips involuntarily moving back into the thrust. The sensation on her bulge was so good that she thrust her hips forward with a similar degree of helplessness to resist. And then Feferi wasn't moving, it was Kanaya that was lancing Equius's nook and impaling herself onto the fuchsiablood's cock, her head fogged and only distantly aware of what she was doing and where she was, only the sensations, only the lovely sensation of being filled and the feeling of tightness and wetness and friction around every sensitive inch of her throbbing bulge.

Gasping and making such undignified noises, she hazily reached around and grabbed Equius's bulge, and blinked slowly when Equius thrust back into her and whinnied, clamping down around Kanaya's bulge and squirting genetic fluid all over the place.

Kanaya couldn't stop thrusting, back and forth it was delicious, she barely registered it as Equius began to tremble hard and whimper openly as he was overstimulated by Kanaya's hand and throbbing, twisting bulge inside of him. She couldn't think, she just kept thrusting and jerking until something (Feferi's hand) recaptured her hand and drew it away to wander Equius's beautiful muscles.

Kanaya moved, and felt Feferi move in her with more and more eagerness. She could feel the heiress pulsing and throbbing and twisting inside of her, and she knew that the heiress was just as close as she was, maybe even more, and suddenly the entire game was about making Feferi come before her.

"Ahhn~" Kanaya gasped, "Ohh, auuuuh, go die you coldblooded biiiitch~" She tightened her pelvic muscles and gripped Feferi's bulge tightly. "Ohhh YESSS!"

Beneath them both, Equius's arms gave out and he pressed his face to the floor, knees quivering at the wonderful sensations of the two beautiful ladies on top of him, using him to get to each other. He reveled in the fact that, though he could literally twitch and stop this all, at the same time he could never do it.

Feferi groaned, and began to thrust wildly back, growling low obscenities under her breath as she raked her claws across Equius's abdomen and roughly pounded Kanaya's sweet nook. 

Kanaya felt a coil of begin to build in her stomach... and with a silent snarl she exerted her willpower, holding back the physical signs of her pleasure by sheer audacity and deterimination.

Because there was something she wanted to do.

With a snarl Kanaya bucked and twisted suddenly, growling "Equius stay STILL" as she pulled herself from his nook, and with a surprised cry from Feferi she threw the heiress across his back and impaled herself violently onto Feferi's bulge. The heiress, eyes unfocused from the sheer bliss, could not do anything but stare blankly and buck her hips wildly until she shuddered and released a flood of fuchsia fluid between her own legs and right into Kanaya's seedflap.

Kanaya pushed herself over the front of Equius (he shivered when her bosom rolled onto and promptly off of the back of his neck), decapchalogued a bucket, and squatted over it as a mix of fuchsia and jade leaked steadily from her nook.

"Equius, stand." At the heiress's command Equius snapped to his feet. "Equius, take your mouth to my chest."

Equius dropped to his knees and began to lavish his loving and earnest attention upon Feferi's lovely chest. _God he seriously was already hard again just from getting on his knees? He has serious problems._ To be fair this thought was coming from Kanaya, who was guilty of her own problems.

Feferi was simply standing tall looking down at Kanaya as Equius worshiped her breasts in all kinds of fucked up figurative and literal ways. "So, hypocrite. What do you have to say about Equius now?"

"I feel so sorry for him," Kanaya hissed as she stood straight and scooted the bucket away with her foot, "that he has to deal with a sick fuck like you in a _red_ quadrant. And as for you?" She sniffed. "Well, I can certainly not account for your taste, he is marvelous but not one I would pick."

Feferi arched an eyebrow. "I think you should see him in action before you say such impolite things miss priss." She took her two hands and pressed them down on the top of his head. "Ah, Equius, lower now."

Equius reached to the side and uncaptchalogued... an entire seadweller bed? Equius must have some heavy duty (STRONG) sylladex to lift things like that. In any case though he quickly pushed Feferi agressively back onto the bed and trailed tender loving kisses down her belly as she giggled.

"Ugh," Kanaya stated disdainfully... but she did walk around them so she could better see what they were doing.

Equius kissed the base of her bulge and kept right on going, softly stroking the average lengthed tentacle with both hands as he held parts of it still enough capture with his lips. Feferi shivered as he reached the tip... and groaned in frustration as he kept right on kissing down the bottom of her happily squirming appendage.

But no, it would seem that Equius had a different destination in mind when he kissed Feferi right down to the uppermost folds of her nook. Feferi whimpered, biting her lip and forcing her hips down with hands on her own thighs as Equius slowly licked her from bottom of nook to tip of bulge. "Oh, Equius~"

Kanaya had to admit she was starting to swell at the little show.

He begun to lick at her nook in earnest, nosing and tonguing it and sometimes even just pulling away to run his stubbled cheek across her ntherlips, all the while while Feferi made such... deliciously tender sounds. Oh god Kanaya what are you doing this is so weird you're having red fantasies about your kismessis why the bloody hell are you... you like it when your bitches make those noises okay?!

All too quickly for the newfound voyeur in Kanaya Feferi arched her back and pressed Equius's face to her nook as her bulge twined around his hair and face spurting thick purple spunk literally everywhere.

"Can't even control herself to get a goddamn bucket," Kanaya murmured, her own buldge squirming against her leg for friction.

Feferi sighed, and cracked an eye at Kanaya. "Actually," she smirked, "Equius likes being covered in my come like he's my dirty little whore." She looked down at him, he looked up at him, and, fuck, even Kanaya, mad as she was, could admit that they were too fucking cute together.

Jegusfuck they just turned to look at her like two of the troll-terminators. "What?"

Equius looked bashfully up at Feferi, and Feferi cackled. "You still don't see why I made this choice?"

"Not even a little."

"Very well. Equius? Go please her as you please me?"

Equius hesitated. "Bu-"

"THATS A GLUBBING ORDER!!!"

Equius swallowed a lump in his throat, his buldge wrapping around her leg submissively. "Y-yes mistress." He disengaged his buldge and turned to Kanaya.

Feferi calmly patted the bed three feet away from herself. "Come on, you can't knock it 'till you've tried it. I wanna see you try it."

Equius knelt on the floor, Feferi sat on the edge of the bed, and they both looked at Kanaya.

The jadeblood threw up her hands. "Fine! Okay, whatever Equius you can suck me. I prefer bulge to nook but you do whatever."

With such violent suddenness Equius sprang to his feet leaned forward and captured Kanaya with huge hands around her upper arms and lifted her effortlessly. No, Kanaya did _not_ squeak! That was not a squeak! Not even remotely a squeak! His liquid eyes filled her vision as she felt them sway, and then he laid a completely surprising tender and gentle kiss right on her lips.

"H-h-hold on. V-vriska, are you s-sure this is okay?" She looked over at the game cursor, which was blinking like... she was away from her compu-

Equius's mouth closed around her nipple, and that was just it for Kanaya.

Things hazed in and out of focus for Kanaya. 

She had kissed him again, kissed him back and full out and he had moaned such a satisfyingly deep moan that carried through to her body and sent thrills down her spine. 

Moaning and gasping, she had pushed him off of her breasts down impatiently, because she desperately needed release from this constant feeling of frustration. 

She felt his lips slide smoothly down her writhing length and take her ALL.

She felt three thick fingers plow into her as he rested his mouth, kissing and sucking on bits of her bulge.

And oh god she would for the rest of her life forget looking down over her heaving bosom and watching him suck her cunny as her bulge nearly wraps around his head spraying him down the front with fountains of viridian jism.

She was sitting almost insensate on the bed, panting and grinning with pleasure...

... when she suddenly hears the one thing that would bring her complete lucidity.

"Heeeeeeeey, who didn't invite me????????"

Then a booming barritone roar that shook the walls: "GO AWAY YOU INSATIABLE HARLOT, IT IS MY TURN SERKET! MINE!"

"Oh, go stow it Zahhak, you know you want me~"

Oh god what was even happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup totes gonna be three parts. And I 8'nt gonna even TRY to keep my favorite troll outta the next one!
> 
> I promise I won't leave you hanging for as long as I did. I had some RL time issues, had to help my mother move.


	3. The Big Finish

When Kanaya fully came to, it was to her saucy little matesprite (matespr8) jumping into the bed next her to rain kisses down on her face. "Missed me Kan?" she murmured.

Kanaya was still trying to get her bearings on reality. Holy MACK--ERAL Equius had some serious oral talent, and by the way Kanaya could hear his deep barritone like thunder off on the horizon, low and menacing somewhere off to Kanaya's... left and up direction. Wait, which way was up?

"Wow you look a little out of it Kanny," Vriska said, her face filling Kanaya's vision as she peered with concern at the jadeblood. Down with concern, she was on her back, ok. "What happened to ya bitey, did painting the sweatmonster green tucker you out before we could even get started? Hey, hey hey, getchur purty-ass up Kanaya." Those little skillful hands Kanaya loved so much came up to her face and tapped her cheek openpalmed several times, clearing up her head a little.

"... Vriska? What are you doing here dearest?" Yes, that was Kanaya's voice. It really shouldn't be so fuzzy and uncertain, but she really couldn't be picky right now. "Omy _god_ does Equius know how to submit." Wait, she hadn't meant to say that.

"Ooooooooh, I have GOT to take that out for a test spin."

Kanaya ==> Clear Up Quick

She pushed herself up hastily, and looked around. Feferi was hanging off of Equius's neck like a garish necklace in Equius's arms, licking his cheek of Kanaya's come (hot) between attempts to apparently coerce the frowning mountain of a troll into aquiuescing t-Oh Vriska was naked.

Pause to appreci8... must have decided to get a head start and with a glance at her blue-stained thighs one could plainly see why... god Kanaya loved Vriska and her skinny ass so much... where... where was that train of thought... (there it was) well Feferi seemed to be convincing Equius to stay oh my god Kanaya could barely tear her eyes off of Vriska for a goddamn second it was actually a little frustrating how hot she was.

"Vriska," Kanaya found herself saying, almost entirely to try to remind her body that she was upset with her, "did you allow some kind of pale-black event thing to happen with Sollux and Feferi recently?"

The spidertroll blinked at Kanaya, surprised. "Uh, no? She did try to barge in and watch one time but that's the extent of that I don't deal with Sollux's multi-quadrant jamberees if I think you wouldn't like me doing it." She smirked triumphantly. "I actually seriously pissed Sollux off by making him fire a warning shot in her hair. I got yer back Kanaya I ain't about to fuck stuff up between us for anything so stupid such as a cheap thrill, don't worry about that."

Kanaya brought a hand up to rub her face, looking worriedly at Kanaya. "But... there was this picture she showed me. It's... somewhere around here on the floor, where's the dinner mess? It should be near there."

Vriska frowned, and stood up and went and walked a bit aways. The jadeblood wasn't so out of it that she didn't watch her walk away... ok that was an understatement she could barely remember to breath when that ass wiggled in front of her like that... Kanaya woke up a little at the sheer volume of the fantasies running through her mind of what she was gonna do to that ass. She bent over to grab something... oh god yeah Kanaya wanted to pin the little minx to the table and mount her like a barkbeast while landcreep and seadouche over there watched in awe. Mmmmmmmm. D8mn.

But Vriska was straightening, and laughing as she turned around (Kanaya sighed quietly to herself; though her front was quite lovely... that back... well... oh lawdy did Vriska have back) and walked back. "Dude," Vriska said, eyebrow arched, "you only glanced at this didn't you?" She went back to Kanaya and sat down, holding the picture of her being fucked senseless. She pointed. "Yup that's my ass alright, but that is NOT Feferi, sweetheart."

Kanaya took the picture and looked at it closer, lip curling in disgust. "What am I supposed to be looking at." She could hardly look at it without punching Vriska or Feferi in the face.

"You see how my cheeks aren't so perfectly round right here in the cleft? That's from the edited out second bulge in my ass. That is Sollux's scrawney ass and you know he edited this picture for his moirail. Doesn't the fuchsia look a little _too_ prevailent? Like, way too solid over here where it should be see through? Little suspiMmmph?" She was interrupted as Kanaya planted a greedy kiss on her lips, which she responded to quickly enough.

Well at least Kanaya hadn't punched Vriska before straightening it all out.

Pulling away, Kanaya ripped the photo in two and tossed each piece over a shoulder. "I'm sorry I doubted you for a second, Vriska." She kissed again, her hands wandering across her matesprite's body. The kissing was a little distant though, and after a moment Kanaya pulled away to look at the hesitant spidertroll's face. "Is something the matter."

"Yeeeeeeeeahhh... there might have been how I mind controlled Sollux to fuck her a little... I didn't touch her and she didn't touch me and so I don't really count it!!!!!!!! But um, it was kind of me doing it and I was in his head while he was experiencing it so........"

Kanaya nodded seriously at her and looked her lover in the eye. "Thank you for being honest." She pulled Vriska in, and nibbled on her ear a little. "I'll have to punish you for that," the jadeblood whispered, making the other troll shiver in anticipation.

The two ladies bounced almost a foot when Equius was suddenly dropped onto the other side of the bed like a sack of potatoes, and Feferi crawled slowly on top of him, grinning at just everything. She looked to her left right into Kanaya's eyes and slowly, sensually kissed Equius, making him tremble under her.

Oh, no she did _not_ just start this. "She wants to play," Kanaya growled, and shoved Vriska down flat with a little yelp from her. The ceruleanblood wasn't complaining though when Kanaya straddled her and went in for a kiss, rubbing the side of her bulge against Vriska's nook while she did it. In fact, she was less than complaining, shivering violently and whimpering as her legs shot open and wrapped around Kanaya's hips.

A little smirk at Feferi was all it took to get the princess to growl into her kiss, reaching down to seize Equius's monster bulge roughly to rub against the fuchsiablood's nook and elicit a wavering groan that admittedly made EVERY female present quiver a little.

Zahhak whickered, and Vriska made a startled noise beneath the heavy kissing. "D-did he just-"

"He does that," Kanaya said almost casually, "we're not allowed to call him weird or Feferi makes it weirder for everybody."

"Yer glubbin right I do," Feferi cooed with a sweet little giggle. "I can still mako this real glubbin weird, oh please do call him that."

Glaring at Feferi even as she kissed Vriska as hard as the spidertroll's ever been kissed, Kanaya reached out and pinched that great expanse of ass and made Equius cry out in pleasure. Woah, he liked to be goosed a little too much but Kanaya wasn't complaining.

Snarling, Feferi reached over and tweaked Vriska's nipple softly, causing her to arch her back and moan under Kanaya.

Oh hell no, now Kanaya had to make a move. She slid herself up on Vriska's body, rubbing her nook on her lover's lovely bulge. Meanwhile her right hand was taking a long detour. Kanaya shove her hand into the b100b100d's cunt all the way to the thumb. Equius made the most delicious mix of a whimper and a bitten back scream. It was almost a neigh, Kanaya noted with an eyeroll, darting in and biting Feferi's hand so the bitch would get her filthy fingers off her matesprit so she could rub Vriska's cute little nipples herself. All throughout this Kanaya was just grinding her nook hard against the bulge under her, also managing to wrest an almost tortured sounding "Ohgod, Kannyyyyyyyyaya" from spidertroll.

Feferi was losing, everybody could see it plainly.

So when Vriska suddenly clung to Kanaya, crying out in wordless ecstacy, Kanaya could only look down between their bodies and gape at the finned hand that was now fucking _her_ Vriska with a dildo at least the size of Equius's prodigious bulge. "Th-that's cheating!" Kanaya protested. 

Feferi threw her head back and cackled like the witch she was as she slid her body down with a shudder onto Equius's throbbing tentacle, enveloping the thrashing digit and causing Equius to give a half strangled cry, bucking his hips up a little. Claws across his chest made him lay back down though.

Growling in frustration as Vriska broke off the kiss to gape at the other two and shiver, Kanaya reached her foot up as high as it would go and hooked her heel into the seadweller's wrist to kick it away so she could slide herself down to shove every single writhing inch of herself firmly into Vriska, whose hands leapt up to fist in her own hair and pitifully whimper her desire. Even as Kanaya curled her fingers and milked a strangled moan from Equius.

In response, as the lesbian trolls watched with helpless fascination, Feferi slowly wrapped her fingers around her matesprit's neck and squeezed, kissing him softly as she lovingly choked him, rolling her hips with a little sigh as she rode him.

And, eyes rolling, hips bucking, hands grasping weakly at the seatroll's, Equius came, just like that, clamping down on Kanaya's fingers as the great muscles went taut and locked themselves into place.

Kanaya and Vriska stared, eyebrows raised. "What the fuck," Vriska said flatly. "How. How even. I. What. He cannot have so little stamina. How is he coming already."

Feferi let go, and Equius heaved in a huge rattling breath. "It's the only way he can feel weak," Feferi murmured fondly, panting slightly with her own pleasure as she planted her palms on Equius's chest and kept right on through his shuddering.

"You can't tell me that's not weird," Kanaya said flatly. Vriska bucked her hips a little, impatient, and with a little "oh," Kanaya started thrusting slowly, glowering resentfully at Feferi. It was no longer a competition, it was clear to all four of them that Equius and his weird kinktastic ass just won this little competition. They might as well slow down and enjoy a bit, and meanwhile Kanaya was curious. "Isn't that uncomfortable for him to keep going like that with his bulge?"

Feferi chuckled, and kissed Equius's cheek lovingly and whispered "Do you want me to stop?"

Sweat trickled down his limbs, his entire body started to shake, but he looked up lovingly to Feferi and jerked his head from side to side, lips white from keeping them shut tight to keep his muffled moans from becoming shouts.

"Answer out loud," Feferi hissed, claws digging into his chest. "Sssslave." The last word was hissed just above a whisper as Feferi's claws dragged through the tight skin, leaving bloody furrows deep and painful.

Equius choked out a desperate, outright pained moan, took a deep ragged breath, and belted out a full lunged roaring wail "Y-YESSSSSSSSS PLEEEEEEEEEEASE MISTREEEEEEEEEEEESSSS, **_PUNISH_** MEEEEE!" Equius gripped the sheets with two fists and audibly popped his knees he straightened them so quickly. His expression showed pain, literal agony, and a desperate longing for more of both.

"Holy sh-hit," Vriska gasped, nearing her own climax, "th-that's f-fuc-cking h-hottt Equius." Vriska, chest heaving, suddenly seized Kanaya's shoulders as she stared with absolute determination and seriousness to demand "K-kuh, Kah, Kanny, ch-choke m-me like th-that."

How could anybody say no to that face, flushed cerulean and shining with a pale blue sweat that seemed to _shine_ on her gray skin? Kanaya, hands hesitant as she plowed mercilessly into her lover, wrapped her long skilled fingers around the pulse of her darling beloved's lifeblood pulse and slowly applied pressure.

Vriska's hands traveled down Kanaya's body then up to press at the hands around her throat while her mouth opened, her body shaking beneath Kanaya, as if to gasp, as if to scream, or moan, or say the jadeblood's name. Kanaya felt it bubble up, and, feeling a rush of power and elation, she took it and choked it off at a gurgle and watched the pleasure mix with pain, watched the smugness and love mix with uncertainty and a little fear in her eye. 'Wait,' Vriska mouthed, quivering with fear and pleasure.

Kanaya tightened her grip further, and felt her lover's pulse beating at her thumb. She felt... mighty. Mighty and in control. She grinned eagerly down at Vriska, lowered herself against the ceruleanblood, and whispered "I love you. Trust me." She flexed her bulge in her lover, curled it against all the best spots, and went as fast as she physically could.

A hazy-eyed slow nod was all Vriska could do before her climax hit her like a battering ram. With rolling eyes and bucking hips and arching back and weak fingers that pawed at Kanaya's fingers the ceruleanblood tried to loose a full bodied scream and only managed to get a small croak out from beneath Kanaya's fingers, little more than a wimper as Vriska's body writhed under her lover's embrace, tightening around Kanaya's bulge, gushing warm blue against Kanaya's abdomen with her own bulge thrashing and writhing and curling against flesh tinted green with the thinnest sheen of emerald sweat. 

Kanaya watched her lover weakly mouth 'ka... na... ya...' as Vriska eyes started to go a little glassy, and then, only then, Kanaya allowed -- deigned to permit -- her lover to gasp in a deep breath, coughing a little and breathing deeply as she shivered and twitched with aftershocks. "Thank you mistress," Vriska croaked out in a low, meek voice.

Kanaya, coming near her own climax, opened her mouth to say something, but quite suddenly Vriska rolled them over, Kanaya's cheek was pressed to Equius's hip and her leg draped over his face. She could feel him shaking with the liquid squelching and wet slapping and blur of seadweller ass just above her, but that was hardly recognized as Vriska starts to ride Kanaya's bulge, panting a little as the ceruleanblood paws with one hand at her lover's boobs and reached out to run her three fingers across Equius's sweat-coated chest. 

She licked the sweat, laughed, and went down for a kiss, for which Kanaya made a disgusted sound and tried to pull away from that taste. Only a second though, she sighed into the kiss and lovingly returned the kiss, giving Vriska's laughing eyes a tired look. Faintly aware of what was happening beside her, she could feel a finger dip into her nook and Feferi going down for a kiss as well.

Suddenly she saw Vriska withdraw, looking at Feferi. The heiress looked back at her, and the two grinned.

"Vriska?" Kanaya asked, frowning.

"Mistressssss," Equius moaned.

Feferi leered down at her matesprit. "Slave," she murmured sweetly, petting his scratches consolingly, "have you been bad?"

" **YESSSS** YEss yess I've been very naughty punish me pleeeease," Equius hissed, voluntarily keeping his hands locked behind his back like he's been handcuffed.

"Kanaya," Vriska said, smiling tenderly. "Trust me."

Kanaya reached up and caressed the spidertroll's cheek, smiling and nodding.

Vriska looked at Feferi as the heiress, rolling her hips still and panting, wrapped her hands around Equius's neck again.

"Oh, that is what is going on. I, um, I am not sure if I am quite comfortable with really going so far as to do such a thing as-"

"Kanaya," Vriska chided softly, her fingers creeping around the jadeblood's neck... and clamped down suddenly as she growled "Shut. Up."

Kanaya's eyes bulged, her body shivered as she felt a sudden rush of adrenaline pounding through her head right when Vriska started moving her body up and down her bulge again. Kanaya gaped wide eyed at her lover, shaking with excitement and not a little fear as she put her hands over the ones around her neck yet didn't make a move to prevent it.

She felt Equius and Feferi moving, the heiress's ecstatic scream barely audible through the pounding in Kanaya's ears. _Abnoxious bitch,_ she thought, distracted for just a second, but then her own orgasm hit like a load of bricks and Kanaya's whole world blurred out of focus, pleasure and excitement coursing through her veins as she tried to breath, tried to scream, tried to buck, but suddenly her limbs were heavy, and her head was light. She pawed weakly at those lovely hands, tried to pull the fingers away, tried to mouth 'stop, stop stop please' but the excited, almost manic gleam in Vriska's eyes were blind to her actual pain, and she was mute, helpless, small...

... her vision darkened...

... then suddenly she gasped in a huge breath, coughed it out, and took another one, vision clearing and blurry. "And here I was about to say something," Feferi's voice said, bemused. "You've got some good timing there."

There was a pause, and the first thing Kanaya could make out clearly was a sudden guilty expression on her matesprit's face. "Um... yeah, I, uh... this isn't my first time doing something... like this... only it was much less fun the, uh...." She frowned at the others.

Kanaya reached up and grabbed her throat suddenly to pull her down and kiss her. "Shh, darling. It's okay. Nobody judges you."

"I judge you," Equius murmured a little, and was treated to a kick from each lesbian troll and a good smack across the face from Feferi. "ARGH, my sincerest apologies, but it was mostly a joke anyways. It wasn't even supposed to be about her adroitness in the arts of asphixiating **trolls**. Rather, it was a general statement of general resentment for my neigh8or's many obnoxious habits and irksome personality traits." He was becoming flustered, and the more he tried to explain himself the worse he dug that hole and the more he blushed in embarassment.

Feferi laughed while the other two continued to glare. "Haha, Equius you're too adorable when you try to be funny."

Vriska and Kanaya exchanged a look. Then, together, they lunged and each sank sharp fangs into one of the fuchsiablood's asscheeks, Vriska holding back the venom. The heiress jumped right off of Equius's bulge and tumbled off the bed, and, laughing, Vriska gave it a good long lick while they were down there, wiggling her eyebrows at her matesprit until, giggling, Kanaya did the same.

Feferi hopped to her feet, rubbing her ass and looking indignantly as Equius moaned, the two girls each licking a side of her bulge. "Oh SHELL NEIGH!" she cried. 

Equius jumped, knocking Kanaya and Vriska in the heads with his thighs and eliciting two "Ow!"s. "I'm sorry Feferi," Equius moaned pitifully, cringing, "I did not reali-"

"QUIET," Peixes snapped, "I'm not angry at you seally seahorse." She glared at the pair of classy ladies. "You bit me. That's not tentacle."

Vriska leaned back, laughing as she reached out a palm to knead Equius's bulge with. "What are you gonna do about it Peixes?" 

Kanaya was too busy giggling to much contribute to the conversation. "Oh my god tentacle has got to be a world record of what the fuck did that even mean," she squealed quietly to herself, choking back tears of laughter.

A dark look crossed her face as she looked passed Vriska to Kanaya. "Seahorse?" she asked softly.

Equius sat himself up on two elbows, head inclined respectfully. "Yes sugar cube?"

"...Book 'em."

In that silent second, the room exploded with action.

Vriska dove up and out of Equius's instantly lunging arm, arms wrapping around a very startled Kanaya around the shoulders and rolled them to their feet, shoving Kanaya out of the way as she turned to grapple with the inexorable force that was Equius Zahhak. She was surprisingly slippery, but Equius quickly had her tied with rope from his sylladex while she yelped "GO KANAYA GO!" the entire time.

Kanaya sat on her ass and blinked a little. "... uh...."

Feferi grabbed Kanaya from behind, and it wasn't too long that Kanaya and Vriska were tied to each other and hanging from the ceiling.

Feferi stood to the side where they could both see her, a smile on her face and a whip in her hands, Equius in a maid costume carrying other various items and following her like a loyal dog (happiest damn dog there ever was).

Kanaya arched an eyebrow at them, and heard Vriska snort. "You know we're going to get out of this," Kanaya said calmly.

"Yeah." The seadweller shrugged. "Better make the most of it then shouldn't I?"  
*****

Three days later Karkat, Nepeta and Sollux, searching for the missing trolls, found the four in a panting, sticky pile of limbs. Equius was sitting on the bottom, wide awake and stretched out like a lazy cat (if cats let other cats sleep on them), Feferi's head on his shoulder where he could nuzzle it and a satisfied look on his face.

"What the hell happened," Nepeta said after a long silence.

"Everything," Equius whispered, eyes half lidded and grinning up a storm. "Everything happened."

"Why wasn't I invited?" Sollux teased weakly, looking awed at the trashed room and the many colors painted on most every surface, including some blue and green spots on the _ceiling._

"Because," Equius replied confidently, "I've got more bulge than both of yours combined." He leaned back against his hands behind his head. "And everybody wants to top me. Everybody. 100% of everybody."

Then Karkat started shouting, and Nepeta started laughing. 

It was great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THEY ALL FUCKED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.


End file.
